And I Don’t Even Wear Black!Posted: July 17, 2011
Everyone knows that married people are boring.
For some inexplicable reason, the minute the sheva brachos are over, an individual’s perceived personal intrigue level takes a nosedive.
And I’m OK with that.
Who wants to hear about diapers and Shalom Bayis, anyway?
As you may well know, there are quite a few shidduch related blogs out there.
Many of them are insightful, some are humorous, and most are pretty interesting.
I have learned a lot about the do’s and don’ts of matchmaking, and I like to think I learned a lot about the sensitivity, professionalism, and tact that matchmaking requires.
I have just one honest question.
Why is the shadchan the enemy?
Yes, I said enemy.
You know, the woman we don’t want to see, the one with the creepy stare and malicious intent.
The one who thinks she knows us when she really doesn’t, the one who makes our lives miserable, the one who makes us dress up when we want to dress down, the one who makes us conform when we want to fly free, the one who is deceptive, and judgmental, and greedy.
Even I am horrified to read about Her – let alone meet her! – the Woman in Black.
Until I realized that she might be me. I might be her. (I sure hope she is always middle-aged. I need some time to figure this out!)
Is she, perhaps, a metaphor for all that is wrong with society? Does she represent an idea?
Or is it the fact that her existence makes us all feel vulnerable? You know, singles, parents of singles, parents of potential singles – we’re all victims…
(You’d better toilet train him already! What if the shadchanim find out? He absolutely cannot take Ritalin! What if the shadchanim find out?)
Oh, the things she might find out. The way she always judges. The unsolicited advice. Who does she think she is anyway?
She’s the devil, you know.
I don’t know. She just is.
So I’m asking – why DO we hate her so much?
She’s concerned, she’s sharp, she’s thinking of others and actually doing something about it!
There are good ones and bad ones everywhere – doctors, rabbanim, social workers, eitzah gebbers, chessed volunteers – in any field, at any location, and in any society.
How is she different from any other person who is in a helping profession?