Shidduchim Are Basherte – A Case Study

I recently phoned Mrs. X, the mother of a guy who is about to start dating, to suggest a really special girl.

As procedure dictates, I began extolling her most positive qualities – beautiful, slim, and smart of course (in case you don’t know me well enough by now – I’m partially serious kidding…) and of course I described why I thought this was a great idea for her sought-after son.

She thanked me so much for my efforts and said that although she is not trying to put me off here, they are inundated with suggestions at this time. She said that she will get back to me if she wanted to pursue it at any point.

And then I found myself telling her a story about the girl that really impressed me. I realized mid-sentence that the story was coming out sounding really different than it was in my head, and I felt that at best I hadn’t done this girl justice, and at worst I sounded seriously desperate.

I got off the phone and collapsed onto my couch feeling like an idiot. I was sure that I had ruined any possibility of this match materializing. Then the mental over-analysis began.


Shoulda backed off, Lefty.

You sounded like a used car salesman.

Next time prepare any random anecdotes in advance.

What a stupid way to ruin a good shidduch possibility.

Why do I bother, anyway?

Fast forward a week.

I’m in middle of folding some laundry, when the phone rings.

“Hey Lefty?

This is Mrs. X, getting back to you. I know I told you that there are just so many names on the table, but I think we’d like to try your idea first anyhow.

It was that story you told me about when you were in the car with this girl. I don’t know why, but it just resonated with me. It immediately reminded me of similar things my son would do. So thanks for sharing that.”

I drop the pile of neatly folded t-shirts, and rush to get a pen to collect his information.

They are set to go out this week.

Coincidence? Siyata Dishmaya? Basherte?

It’s shidduchim – I’m learning that anything can happen.


6 Comments on “Shidduchim Are Basherte – A Case Study”

  1. Altie says:

    🙂 cute. Hope it works out, if it is meant to.

  2. Better the way you do it than the having it just another email in the mother/guys inbox. Making the suggestion personal will do that

  3. Corti says:

    Wow bashert, Hashem directed the way it came out of your mouth and the way she was receptive to it 🙂 Whether or not it’s bashert they get married is another thing, but even if they go out and learn things about themselves/grow in the process, you helped facilitate it, Hashem wants them to meet one another. Great job 😉

    Btw I don’t know you thaaat well, but I didn’t expect that “beautiful, slim..” part to come from you. Eyebrows went up… and then back down. Lol.

  4. %Shocked% says:

    Wow, great story! It’s such a weird feeling how saying something that we think, in retrospect, was so terrible/silly/wrong was exactly what was supposed to have been said. Keep us updated!

  5. Princess Lea says:

    Even if they don’t end up walking into the sunset – you did your thing, and admirable thing. Kudos.

  6. leftylogic says:

    Thanks for all the support, people!
    I knew I started this blog for a good reason… 🙂

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