If you absent-mindedly notice that your toothpaste looks thicker and whiter than usual when you squeeze it out, it’s probably not toothpaste.

(If you have babies in the house, it might just be a squeeze tube of Desitin.

Desitin on teeth feels really yucky. And it’s practically impossible to remove from the bristles of your favorite toothbrush.)

You might want to keep that in mind.


I Almost Ate A Worm

The cutest, peppiest, wriggliest little worm.

It just seemed so settled there, in my cashew.

There was a happy ending for both of us.

Just thought you should know.

(Note to self: I’m going to regret this post.)

Explanation Needed

on the “hisgaber ka’ari” quote from the Mechaber.

If I slept 20 out of 24 hours, I’d probably also wake up with that kind of energetic ferociousness.

Really, what’s the kuntz?

My Take On Dear Blank – JBlog Version

So this is my first attempt at Dear Blanking, using some of my favorite blogs as fodder.

I have been reading frum blogs for a very very long time. (Sigh.)

If, like myself until pretty recently,you’ve never heard of Dear Blank letters, read Blobby’s introductory post first.

If I omitted your awesome blog, please take no offense – I’m simply not funny enough to cover them all.

Plus, I needed to leave some for others.

(As a relatively new blogger, I feel kinda safe doing this.

Ain’t that much to make fun of here. :smirk:)

Dear Blobby,

Would you please stop blaming everything on me?

Sincerely, Your devoted iPhone


Dear Professor,

Who are you to talk about life on a cotton ball, anyway? Please explain.

Sincerely, Rubbing Alcohol


Dear Yeshivish,

Please stop being so “harryer than thou.” It’s getting annoying.


The Yeshiva Bochur who carries his tefillin in a fanny pack, beat that!


Dear Bad4,

What’s the excuse gonna be when you graduate? (Seriously, lay off, we can’t take the pressure…)

Sincerely, Finals

(P.S. – If you’re really a married old grump, there are going to be a lot of angry people.)


Dear G6,

We guessed. Everyone and their Zeidy.


Do you EVER say no?

P.S. – And how the heck do you look so young?


Hat Tip: Blobby

Impeccable Timing

Of course I absolutely need to start a blog on Erev Pesach.

I’m a lefty.

We do things differently.